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"Bring on the Boosters. --And the rubber chicken."The lunch they served me wasn't that bad, and it was free. Dessert was actually kind of good. Before long, I was listening to Orlie's introduction of the Club's speaker of the week.That would be me.Orlie had done her homework, and she told the Boosters, step-by-step, about my 8th-round college draft by the Dodgers, the years with Los Angeles (OK, Albuquerque), then the Minnesota Twins (spelled R-O-C-H-E-S-T-E-R), then Tampa Bay (Durham), and now, my rebirth as an Oriole. Orlie made it all sound like a trip to Disney World, but at least she wasn't patronizing or condescending to any degree. It was a professional job of introducing a speaker as positively as possible.I stood up, arranged my notes on the little rostrum, and got started. "Y'know," I began, "Brian Roberts was going to talk to you about life as a major-league ballplayer. But he couldn't be here today. Brian's spent more time in the shower at Camden Yards than I've spent in. He included a video marked for my eyes.I started it and saw Helen talking with two women and a man. I turned up the sound and heard, "Having the house professionally cleaned was a great idea." The man said."Having Nick find a dead condom would not be good for my health." Helen said.The blond said, "Even if it was one someone used on someone else!" They laughed.The strawberry blond opened her blouse showing her breasts and three hickies. "I hope these fade in the next few days or I'm dead."They discussed ways to help them fade faster. Then Helen said, "When this started I did it just to get me enough sex to hold me until Nick got back. Now I wonder if I can ever limit myself to just Nick again. I like being able to be eaten and have orgasms every day!" And different dicks!" The strawberry blond said."I certainly like being able to come here and find a willing mate any day I have time." The man said as he reached for the strawberry blond."No, way!" She said as she recoiled. "We're all.
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